Train of Thoughts

I slightly hate it when I read a manga and it makes me think nonstop.
I just finished reading Bokura Ga Ita 65.

Gah, I already knew that humans are weak and strong.

We're strong enough to move on from when tragic things occur. We're strong enough to heal our broken hearts. We're strong enough to leave the one we love.

But we are so weak that one thing can break our love. One thing can seduce us even though we are in "love". Weak-willed in sex. Weak-willed in staying with the one we love. Weak enough to shut ourselves from society.

Contradicting huh?

We all have the ability to be strong or weak. It just all depends on your will.

I hate how couples always go around stating that they're in love but when one person comes along, it's so weak that it'll break. Seduction, if someone was so in love, then they won't ever be tempted or seduced. But it happens, all....the...damn...time. We're such sex fiends that it's pretty gross.

I'm going to admit that I'm a pretty strong person but am weak at the same time. I can love my boyfriend unconditionally but once he drinks, I can end it just like that. But that makes me think...is that a strong or weak will? Is my love so weak and my will to keep loving him so weak that I can end it instantly? Or am I so strong that I can live without him and just end it?

I'm strong enough to never cheat on him. I love sex but only if it's with the person I love. I don't think I'd be able to do someone I don't. It wouldn't feel right. To me, having sex makes you feel vulnerable. It's such an intimate thing that you can develop feelings and emotions that might not actually be your own. You can have sex with some guy you thought was hot and afterwards, think you're in love. Sex can be wonderful, it can deepen your love but it can destroy you.

I always have to have him say "I Love You". Because I'm so weak that I need to be reassured that he still does. I don't want the sex to be just lust or pointless. I'm so insecure sometimes.

Which makes me wonder, am I weak or strong?

Humans are so complicated.